the bubbles i live in.

What if I sleep today and wake up tomorrow a differen person in a different place. Can I choose who I want to? A person that is loved and beloved? If given another chance will you choose to change any part of your life? For me I'd say no as there are parts of my life are too valuable and precious to change nor forget. I been through alot that a normal teenager won't experience and also didn't experience some teenagers also do. 

I'm insecure about relationships, lacking of self confidence and with that big ego of mine. I lost the biggest part of my life. To open my eyes wide enough and notice who really cared. Being at 20, I've been through hack of situations and various of shitholes. However the one thing that I can get hold on is love. The border line between friendship and relationship is never set and never have a standard. The border line can stretch from a limited to unlimited boundaries. Setting the standard is always a no no. Thinking that I'm good in love and being over confident is what happen to me. Crash and burn. While seeking for a secure relationship, I lost my path. Sacrificing happiness and also whatever goodness in me. Resulting that I care too much and then mixed feelings come into play and fuck up every single thing that you establish since day one and complicates almost everything. I can't deny that people takes me as a freaking player, playboy, or man whore. What ever it is I never regretted a single second that I had a life like this. Yes, I can't deny that I do wish for a sweet simple relationship, but I guess when it comes to relationship. It will never ever be simple. NEVER by a single chance. I do admit certain couples i know are darn sweet some are seriously fucked up. I adore those who have a sweet one. Wishing that mine will be like theirs and swear those who really don't fit and try no matter how things are fucked between them. Wishing for one workable relationship ain't gonna work. So now, imma work on my mojo, self esteem and charisma. Things are really working when you open your ears an listen to what people say about you, As you won't realize what is wrong with yourself. Working on mistakes, do and dont's are baby steps will be a good start. Having a life and proper life will just boost self confidence and self esteem. Nevertheless I will continue working on it.